Big Breaths. Big Breaths, I CAN do this.

Travelling solo in Bali has been both beautiful and hard.

I love being here. The culture, the warmth, the slower pace, the feeling that life doesn’t have to be rushed all the time.

But if I’m being truthful, travelling solo with ADHD, autism and anxiety has required more courage than most people probably realise.

My medication is illegal here, so for the first time in a long time I’ve been navigating without it. That has meant feeling everything a little more intensely. The noise, the unfamiliarity, the decision-making, the constant navigating of a place that isn’t home.

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that my brain’s default setting is often danger.

Not because danger is actually there.

Just because uncertainty feels like danger.

A delayed flight.
A missed turn.
A driver I haven’t met before.
A new place.
A different routine.

My nervous system can interpret all of it as a threat long before my rational brain catches up.

So this trip hasn’t been about being fearless.

It’s been about doing things while feeling scared.

Getting on the plane anyway.
Booking the villa anyway.
Walking into new places anyway.
Trusting myself anyway.

And somewhere between the anxiety and the excitement, something interesting happens.

Confidence grows.

Not because the fear disappears, but because you keep proving to yourself that you can handle more than your brain initially tells you.

I’ve had moments where I’ve wanted to retreat back into the familiar.

I’ve also had moments standing amongst rice fields, temples and beautiful strangers where I’ve thought, “I’m so glad I didn’t.”

Growth isn’t always loud.

Sometimes it’s simply a woman sitting alone in a café on the other side of the world, quietly teaching her nervous system that not everything unfamiliar is dangerous.

And for me, that’s a pretty big deal.